Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Blumarine's belong in the sea

Blumarine has come out with the most ridiculously haphazard 'collection' I've seen. Full stop. I'm fine with a bit of creative difference within a collection, sure, no one needs the same outfit 50 times over in 20 different shades of purple (for all your purple moods) but when there is nothing succinct about your line other than everything looks like you're one of the not so aesthetically pleasing extra's from Clueless, then I'm not a fan. They have experimented, because that's what it looks like- experiments, with every kind of cut: mini, maxi, flowing, body con, off the shoulder, one sided, midriff, high neck, cinched, boxy and super tight skinnies. OTT fur coats in blue, pink, orange and purple are placed next to metallic stripper space women outfits while on the other side of a designer's imagination there are completely demure LBD's alongside, and I kid you not, full body leopard print. Like, full on shit y'all. There are at least 20 leopard's on these girls. Blumarine is single handedly putting faux fur animals onto the endangered species list. It's a terrible collection, I won't sugar coat it for you, and obviously haven't. It's just a bit of crap and I have no idea why it's getting so much magazine and online coverage. Bitches be fools, obviously.

This is passable. Fun almost, if you don't mind attracting bee's. 

Who says you can't bring the sexy when wearing thermals? NOT BLUMARINE. 
From what I could gather, BM got one of everything, then did it in a bunch of different styles, then when thinking they were onto something gold (they weren't), doing it in 5 different colours. Oh god, sorry, just brought up a little eggo there.. 

There is blood on your hands, Molinari. And don't think those denim shorts didn't go unnoticed, Dudzeele- your styling slings arrows. A curse on both your houses.

Just because you don't have a black dress doesn't mean you need to put one in. You are such a bad designer it's not even funny anymore. 

It looks like there was an oil spill on your clothes. Wait.. please.. please tell me that's what happened. It would make this so much easier to handle. And what? You planning a game of frisbee after the show with those earrings? ARE YOU? Take them off, just take them off. They're ridiculous, you silly woman.

My lord. 

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