Monday, 13 February 2012

The 2 musketeers killed some animals and wore them. I'm not even trying anymore.

You know I don't mind the Olsen twins. In fact, I think they're pretty darn rockin' for pocket people. Perhaps not by themselves.. but as a duo they totally smash life (lucky they were born twins, ey ey?). Both the Row and Elizabeth and James are relatively decent lines, if you're into the minimalist chic over priced basics kinda thing. I was marooching (new term- run with it) through Ssense today and came across some of Elizabeth and James new gear. Including a goat fur coat (and yes, I wasn't aware goats had long enough manes to make into shaggy coats either BUT THEY DO) Please spare me the 'meat is murder' schpeel, I haven't bought the jacket. I will never buy it. I don't have a spare grand to spend on hairy dead animals. And besides, fur looks terrible on me, I start to look like a red headed mammoth woman. I already make it difficult enough for men to be attracted to me, I just can't go to those ice aging lengths or my sex life, like the mammoth, will become extinct (HAHA I get worse at writing with practice). I do, howevs, like it on other people.

Goat Fur Coat from ssense $995USD :|
Other people like this model. I love the way the ssense models pose. It's so natural. Wooden plank chic was the brief. 

You know I was going to make this a post about MK&A fashion entrepreneurial endeavours  but on second though, they really aren't that interesting. If I were a celeb blogger I'd just write about them but as I'm not, I'm going to do something that will cause my mother and any lover of the English language and written word to convulse: change my story mid tune. Did you see this coming in the opening sentence? NO YOU DIDN'T BITCHES. I'm getting a bit crazy on yo' asses. Thank god no one is paying me to do this because that bird, my friends, just would not fly. In fact, that bird would get fired. 

SO, instead I am going to start with an ode to my love of fur as an aesthetic I will never be able to wear. Here comes the hair. It's just over there. Oh wait no, it's hanging over that chair. With such enviable flair. Oh, oh hair. 


Martin Margiela
Look, let's be a little practical here. Sometimes it gets as cold as 10 degrees in Sydney. For these days it would be stupid not to have this on your noggin'. I would go as far as to say it would be putting yourself in danger of getting hypothermia and in turn having to go to hospital, wasting the public health systems time and resources, increasing your risk of cancer and ruining christmas for all. (Mild exaggeration? Hyperthermia and cancer have not been linked? Think again friends). All of this could have been saved if you'd bought a fur tailed bucket hat monster at the beginning of winter (yes, I can justify the buying of anything). 

The Row
Flaccid penis fur hats are all the rage in the world of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. As a result, most of LA are wearing them too, we just don't see it here in Australia due to internet censorship. 

Why wear one dead animal when you can wear a solid 4? Just in case those red paint slinging animal activists discriminate. Wouldn't want to miss out, now, would we?

Chanel 2010-11 Ready To Wear
Talk about abominable snow man chic. Way to rock and roll Chanel, there's got to be a good 5 goats, 10 rabbits and a horse in these bad boys. Suit up gentlemen, this is the ultimate woman trap. Ladies can't say no to a sexy (not particularly sexy) bear. Some say it's wrong, we say it's love. 

 Jagger Edge from Shopbop $62AUS
Now not even I can justify this. It looks like a hairy poo. And come on, why have a fur covered Iphone with the amount of beer, sand and sea water you will inevitably inflict upon it? No? Just me? Whatevs guys, you're just lying to yourselves. Don't be above it. I'm buying you all furry Iphone covers for christmas THEN WE'LL SEE WHOSE LAUGHING (probs still be you). 

Kevork Kiledjian Fall 2012 RTW 
It was totally worth skinning elmo for this coat. 

Jeffrey Campbell fur Litas
JC has made a loooot of stupid Lita's. These have got to be the stupidest of them all. They just look dumb. Lita's always look dumb but these look dumber. Writing this is making me feel dumb. 20 IQ points lost.. THANKS A LOT CAMPBELL. 

Mandy Coon $144 at
Sometimes I get man envy about chest hair. Just as I was considering hormone shots I found this and all was right in the world once more. 

And of course: Prada Spring 2011 
Fur striped worm muffs. Need I say more? Prada totally won fashion with this collection. 

Just for fun let's re-watch this campaign. Harrarious. 



Plz note: I do not condone killing animals or puppets for their fur. But you have to admit.. they do look pretty. 



  1. you actually made me laugh, wow, i love to read your posts, but then i feel so inadequate and don't know how to respond, i have lots of thoughts, little things that pop into my head when reading your posts like oh ... and oh !! and oooh yeah.. and totally, but as i read, it gets jumbled and i can't possibly respond to just one thing. this was a ramble, i apologise, Happy Valentine's day in 10 minutes!! xx

  2. errrr stop being funnier than me? THANKS. also if i met a man who owned his own chanel full fur suit, i would lock that shit DOWN. even though that kind of fur always looks weirdly greasy. xx

  3. ALSO i've always wanted to operate heavy machinery while buzzed. plan: sorted