Thursday 26 January 2012

Piss pot through and through

This may come as a shock to some of you, but I am in fact, 100% Australian. "But how?!" I hear you exclaim? "How when you ooze such style, grace and all round European elegance?" And, don't forget, my very un-straight-off-the-boat Irish complexion. I know, it's a bit of a mind fuck-a-roo but I am true blue. And as this day is, of course, 'Strayaa day, today's post will be celebrating just that.

Now I'm not able to go out and drink like I would like to. My most redeeming Australian quality is being able to turn any occasion into a legitimate drinking experience (I had a party to celebrate my tonsils coming out. Enough said). So, as today my most festive drink will be a large glass of ice cold Milo and I stupidly timed it so my 5 ft. Australian flag was getting dry cleaned (Idiot Lucy.. cmon) I'm going to raise a toast to the best of Australian fash, but also New Zealand because you know what this fine day shares in common? That's right my cousin's day of birth and today it is her TWENTY FIRST OH MY GOD TODAY YOU ARE A WOMAN. So Happy birthday Molly McCarthy, may all your responsibilities and adult stresses overwhelm you and have a cold one for me guys, schlang a saussy on the barb and I'll sit on my verandah trying to create a 'Happy birthday' and National Anthem hybrid.

Oh right, my cousin is from New Zealand. Hence the Australian and New Zealand fas... yeah you get it.

1. Romance Was Born:

A/W 2011
What the hell even is that? It's like a flower had sex with explosives and had explosive flower babies that attacked this poor young woman. 

A/W 2011
They made home on this chicks rockin' bod and decided to go for a 'country yuppie' feel and in turn invested in lots of wicker furniture.


Then they realised that they were going about it all wrong, redecorated and dedicated their lives to the gays. 

2. Deadly Ponies

A furry doctor's bag. It's everything that is missing in my life. 
But really this is my ultimate bag. I want this bag. I want it with everything I am. Bag, you are my ultimate. 

3. Karen Walker
When I was in Wellington before christmas and buying myself lots of undeserved christmas presents a grey and mustard drop-hem dress by K dubs was one. This bitch ass woman served me then tried to sell me another dress in a size 6 (I'm not a size 6) for $700 dollars and then a necklace for $1500. If you ever read this bitch ass woman, learn to help your customers before trying to rob them. You bitch. You bitch ass. You bitch ass woman. Good dress but.

A/W Southern Hemisphere 
So daggy and so cute. I can imagine wearing a Karen Walker outfit would feel like being the kinda ugs, lame girl at school who grew up to be quirky and understatedly hot. Kinda like what Zooey Deschanel tries to do in every single role she's ever had. But better. Because Zooey Deschanel is a goober.

Matching prints woot woot.

S/S 2011 Northern Hemisphere
Similar colourings to my dress. Cept mine has got more of a 1920's flapper makes me look like a log thing going on.



4. After the Apple
I don't need to post anymore (can't be bothered). This bag says it all (hardly anything) about this brand.

Happy Molralia Day Everyone.
xxL. 






2 comments:

  1. i'd totally wear the shit out of that carmen miranda monstrosity.

    x

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm collecting fake fruit as we speak.
    x

    ReplyDelete